Every week so many juicy lessons are shared within our Savvy Circles.
It’s fascinating how themes can be the same across the Circles – women gathering together in different groups on different days yet common threads are being exposed, pulled and released.
I can’t help but wonder if these are more systemic themes that are coming up with others in the community and around the world.
Some weeks spotlights and conversations center around tactical “stuff” like increasing exposure on social media or networking.
And then there are other weeks when mindset and other less tangible – but oh so very real – inner stuff comes to the surface.
These are the weeks where you see people really start to question, become aware, and make the shifts they need to move forward on their path.
This week what really stood out is the notion of TAKING UP SPACE.
We are all a work in progress, that is for sure. And, one thing I find that many of us big-hearted, well-intention, purpose-driven solopreneurs are simply terrible at is taking up space.
We can see it surface as:
- Not asking for what we need and want
- Not following up for the sale
- Feeling like a bother to people
- Staying distracted with minutia and busy-work
- Not hiring the help we need
- Doing everything ourselves
- Not sharing our stories
- Not celebrating our accomplishments and sharing our wins with others
Women have a history of playing small and retracting from the world.
I see it a lot with other female solopreneurs. We are putting our purpose, passion and dreams on the line and that can feel very vulnerable and scary. It opens us up and exposes us.
-> What if they don’t like it?
-> What if I’m bothering them?
-> What if they don’t like me?
-> What if they don’t buy from me?
-> What if people criticize, troll me or make fun of me?
I preface that “taking up space” doesn’t mean hard-core hustling, being overly boastful, arrogant, obnoxious, having thousands of pictures of yourself on your site, or essentially screaming “look at me, look at me” all the time.
What I’d like to see is that we energetically take up space in the world around us and be more present to the people that we serve. That we strive to make our voices heard from an empowered and confident place. That we begin to be role models for others; demonstrating that we do deserve to be here, to be doing this work and to be making a living from the work we share.
I imagine a tiny girl shrinking into the corner of a dance, hoping no one talks to her and counting the minutes until her mom picks her up. So many of us have a bit of her deep inside. Let’s all coax that beautiful girl inside us all to come out and dance, play, and be part of the big event. To give her permission to be truly herself and to be seen.
Doesn’t that feel good?
Here are some additional tips and ideas to help you begin to take up more space.
Awareness
Awareness is truly the first step. When we begin to notice that we’re shrinking into ourselves, spinning the same stories and hiding from the world, that begins the process. Seriously! Congratulations that you’ve now noticed this trend and have called it out!
Being Witnessed
Having other people witness you while you share your thoughts, patterns and stories, helps take you from a place of quiet shame to a new place of empowered action. What you also find in talking about it with a trusted friend or your mastermind group is that you’re not alone. Not only do others say “I see you. I hear you.” But they often say “Sister, do I feel you!”
Role Reversal
What would you say to your best friend if she shared your shrinking tendencies? What would be your advice to her. Now can you take some of your own kind words and advice? Can a bit of your own medicine kick start newer thoughts and habits?
Celebrate
We are often very future focused. We’re planning, scheming, working through our plans and pushing towards our big goals. We often don’t take the time to recognize just how far we’ve come.
We also don’t recognize all the great work and happy clients/customers we have served in the past. Pull out those accolades, awards, kind notes, positive feedback, letters of recommendation, 5-star Yelp reviews, what-have-you and keep a file. When you feel blah, go back and get a little jolt from all that positive energy!
You have come SO far and know that you still have a long way to go with many wonderful achievements ahead of you.
Get Scared
“Do one thing every day that scares you.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt
I love this quote and think of it often.
We can become very complacent as soloprenerus because we don’t have bosses overseeing our every move, co-workers jockeying for our job, or gaggles of people doing 360 reviews. It’s just you. Allll you.
It’s easy to do the simple stuff and stay safe. It’s easy to NOT return the phone call or to blow off a proposal because “why would they chose me, anyway?”.
But what if you chose to do one small thing that scares you everyday with the sole purpose of taking up more space in the world.
What would it be?
- Would you do a Facebook live?
- Would you contact that big wig to interview for your podcast show?
- Would you pitch your business to an incubator?
- Would you interview a virtual assistant to finally get the help you need?
- Would you say NO to something you truly in your heart don’t want to do?
- Would you fire that client that makes you feel small?
We are all here for a purpose.
Whether it is clearly defined or still needs being polished and refine, we often have a sense of something MORE.
There is probably something deep inside of you that knows that you can be more, show up more and be more to the world.
Time to shine, baby and take up some space!
Photo courtesy of Unsplash
Ryan Moreno
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